gonna make an oreo cake in a cup. then i’m gonna put ice cream on it. then i’m gonna eat the fuck out of it. 

yeah boi

paintraincomic:

Classic Pain Train 1/3!
Oh boy! Perhaps you’ve seen this one before - it was the first comic I did (way before I even had a tumblr!) that got rehosted everywhere and was the reason I had to start putting my url on everything. It also had a spelling mistake on it for the longest time before I realised and fixed it.

paintraincomic:

Classic Pain Train 1/3!

Oh boy! Perhaps you’ve seen this one before - it was the first comic I did (way before I even had a tumblr!) that got rehosted everywhere and was the reason I had to start putting my url on everything. It also had a spelling mistake on it for the longest time before I realised and fixed it.

(via proffesor-who)

solarsenpai:

siopold:

miracleyangwenli:

siopold:

the funny thing about dril posts is that they actually do have a structure to them– they hit a kind of conceptual caesura halfway through, a point where there’s no inevitable logical connection between what’s been said and what’s still to come. here, the first sentence didn’t need to result in the second, yet it’s not “lol random” either; the speaker is angry about his boss’ draconian ferret-kissing policy, and reacts in kind, and even the reference to a “screen saver” reminds us that we’re in an office. it’s a narrative progression that, despite having an internal logic, alienates its punchline from its setup. who the hell is this person?

one thing i love about @dril posts is how they all seem to take place in a universe that is somewhat like our own, but with the habitus of white middle america taken to a bizarre, absurd, but strangely logical conclusion. take this one, for instance: 

so we have our setting: a security guard protecting the american flag in the betsy ross museum, something almost archetypically american and middle class. but once again the first part, or setup, for the punchline, “fucking the flag,” careens the joke into an alien punchline that still, given the setting, makes sense. @dril’s security guard character imitates a sort-of cop-talk, the banter of a security guard, “buddy, they wont even let me fuck it”. you can imagine a similar response from a guard at any museum, but we’re talking about Fucking the American Flag, here. i really love @dril. 

it’s astonishing that a human being thinks of those posts. some person, someone out there whose existence we have to infer, because all we know is that those posts occur and they must be coming from somewhere. “the @dril​ tweeter” resonates as “the beowulf poet” does, except beowulf (which i’ve only read in translation, so i’m not an authority) has never made any use of the english language as baffling and sublime and somehow primally interlaced with the stuff of human consciousness as “IF THE ZOO BANS ME FOR HOLLERING AT THE ANIMALS I WILL FACE GOD AND WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL.”

This is my favorite post, I am so glad I found it again.

solarsenpai:

siopold:

miracleyangwenli:

siopold:

the funny thing about dril posts is that they actually do have a structure to them– they hit a kind of conceptual caesura halfway through, a point where there’s no inevitable logical connection between what’s been said and what’s still to come. here, the first sentence didn’t need to result in the second, yet it’s not “lol random” either; the speaker is angry about his boss’ draconian ferret-kissing policy, and reacts in kind, and even the reference to a “screen saver” reminds us that we’re in an office. it’s a narrative progression that, despite having an internal logic, alienates its punchline from its setup. who the hell is this person?

one thing i love about @dril posts is how they all seem to take place in a universe that is somewhat like our own, but with the habitus of white middle america taken to a bizarre, absurd, but strangely logical conclusion. take this one, for instance: 

so we have our setting: a security guard protecting the american flag in the betsy ross museum, something almost archetypically american and middle class. but once again the first part, or setup, for the punchline, “fucking the flag,” careens the joke into an alien punchline that still, given the setting, makes sense. @dril’s security guard character imitates a sort-of cop-talk, the banter of a security guard, “buddy, they wont even let me fuck it”. you can imagine a similar response from a guard at any museum, but we’re talking about Fucking the American Flag, here. 

i really love @dril. 

it’s astonishing that a human being thinks of those posts. some person, someone out there whose existence we have to infer, because all we know is that those posts occur and they must be coming from somewhere. “the @dril​ tweeter” resonates as “the beowulf poet” does, except beowulf (which i’ve only read in translation, so i’m not an authority) has never made any use of the english language as baffling and sublime and somehow primally interlaced with the stuff of human consciousness as “IF THE ZOO BANS ME FOR HOLLERING AT THE ANIMALS I WILL FACE GOD AND WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL.”

This is my favorite post, I am so glad I found it again.

(via a-nervous-system)

pastel-gizibe:

sancophaleague:

"Ladarius Sapho had his valedictorian speech already prepared when the principal at Proviso East High School in Maywood, Illinois informed the straight A student that he was not eligible to receive the top honor he worked so hard to achieve.
With a 4.135 GPA, The principal explained that, while he performed well enough for the valedictorian position, he technically didn’t qualify for the honor. “I was gonna be number one, valedictorian of 2014. I was going to be giving the speech at graduation. Now they won’t let me.” Sapho explained.
Antoinette Gray is a community advocate who has been trying to help Sapho retain his valedictorian status. “There is no policy,” said Gray told Fox 32. “They have been asked not once, but two or three times to produce that written policy. And the reason that was given by the school principal, is nonsense. Gray says the Principal is simply using his own discretion and that there is no regulation on the books specifying Valente’s decision to withhold the valedictorian from the Proviso East senior. A district representative said the policy can be found on the district website, but so far no one has been able to locate such a policy. According to Gray, it wasn’t in any written documentation anywhere.”
What are your thoughts on this?
Post By @KingKwajo
#SanCophaLeague

SIGNAL FUCKING BOOST
I’m over shit like this happening.

pastel-gizibe:

sancophaleague:

"Ladarius Sapho had his valedictorian speech already prepared when the principal at Proviso East High School in Maywood, Illinois informed the straight A student that he was not eligible to receive the top honor he worked so hard to achieve.

With a 4.135 GPA, The principal explained that, while he performed well enough for the valedictorian position, he technically didn’t qualify for the honor. “I was gonna be number one, valedictorian of 2014. I was going to be giving the speech at graduation. Now they won’t let me.” Sapho explained.

Antoinette Gray is a community advocate who has been trying to help Sapho retain his valedictorian status. “There is no policy,” said Gray told Fox 32. “They have been asked not once, but two or three times to produce that written policy. And the reason that was given by the school principal, is nonsense. Gray says the Principal is simply using his own discretion and that there is no regulation on the books specifying Valente’s decision to withhold the valedictorian from the Proviso East senior. A district representative said the policy can be found on the district website, but so far no one has been able to locate such a policy. According to Gray, it wasn’t in any written documentation anywhere.”

What are your thoughts on this?

Post By @KingKwajo

#SanCophaLeague

SIGNAL FUCKING BOOST

I’m over shit like this happening.

(via feelslikeiamfalling)